I was engaging in an interesting conversation the other day. A friend of mine was feeling blue. Life sucks big time. I soon understood that my friend was focusing on small obstacles and things that are out of his control. We talked for a while. What was bringing him down? Well it was the little things in life like trouble at work, little sleep, feeling inadequate. I started by asking about what he is proud about so far. Well, my wife, kids, I actually got a great job, my education is good. These are examples of answers that fell upon the table. Yeah I know that it is a blizzard and cold outside. I know that it is the dark season in Norway right now. But there are a lot of things you cannot control, so stop focusing on the cracks in the road.

Open your eyes and take a look at the view.

Sometimes a complaining co-worker can drag you down, other days you got the huge electric bill. You might have a boss that is giving you a hard time. You might hate the weather, and the bus is late. You can’t control the weather, but you can control how you feel about the weather. Try whistling in the rain. Try walking with an upbeat joyful body posture in the blizzard when everybody is crouching. It is amazing. Being annoyed at the bus driver for being late will not get you any faster to work. Rather thank him for doing a great job, that might remove his stress and he might get you faster to work. Life is long and some periods might be super boring. This is when you must stop, and move your eyes away from the cracks in the road of life. Take a birds view and look at the long run. You might have a good marriage; your spouse might even love you. When you think about it you might even love your job! Think about why you like stuff in the first place. You might suddenly find yourself moving your eyes from the crack in the road to looking at the scenery of your life. I said to my friend stop looking at the cracks and rocks on your path and look up and around you. What do you see?

Are you looking for a way to find meaning in life? Not the meaning of life, but making some sense out of what you do? I am going to try to share my life philosophy with you. If you have read my blog for a while you might be familiar with the illustration I am using today. I made it first for another blog post a while back which you can read here – Since then I have had this graphic as my desktop background, learning to appreciate it every single day as a reminder and map of my life and it makes sense. Read more… »

No, I am not quitting my job, I am not going to shut down my blog, and I am not ready to stop believing in the potential of humans. I meet a lot of people both at work and in other settings that are unmotivated and unhappy with their life/job situation. In my values I do believe that every single human being has the potential of greatness, at least to some degree. So it makes me sad to meet people I cannot help. So when do I give up? – I do not have the answer, and I hope you can help.

I am also wondering if this is my fault?
I am not able to motivate everybody, some people seems beyond salvation. Is there anything I can do differently? It hurts to give up on good people and I think I might just be wasting time one some. What should I look for in the beginning? Is it possible to motivate people that do not want to be motivated?

When I do give up
How should I proceed with my employee/client/friend to end the relationship in a good way? This is really haunting me as I have such a strong belief in human capacities.

Sometimes it is best to say shut up and listen…

I had a pleasant call today from a fellow that was hiring one of my former employees. He was asking for my opinion about him. I get those calls from time to time and I was thinking I could share what these future employers ask about. In this way I hope I can give you a great motivation for why you should do your best at your current job. Everything you do at your current job is directly related to the next job in line. Let’s face it, not many people work crib to grave at the same place anymore, so the chances for you changing jobs is humongous. Read more… »

A young soccer player at the age of 14 has his entire life been spending most of his career on the bench, with a low point in his career going to Norway Cup, the largest soccer tournament in the world for kids, being benched in all matches and played zero minutes in a tournament that this kid was looking forward to. The winter was long and a new season started, and due to one player moving to another part of the world he got his first match this season. He ran up and down the left wing of the field feeling that it went alright. After the match one of the other’s dad came up to him and said: “what the h…., have you been doing this winter?” – The kid felt the world crumble and was ready to be yelled at for poor performance when this man said; “you played very good out there, you have truly improved greatly since last year”. The kid played each game the rest of the season and continued to play frequently for another four years on junior levels. For the first time in his life, he felt that he could manage to do something right.
Read more… »